And a sword will pierce through your own soul also--that the secret thoughts and purposes of many hearts may be brought out and disclosed. Luke 2:35

what did mary ever do, but live in complete obedience and surrender to God's will? and he allowed the enemy to kill her son. cold-blooded murder, if you will. and he didn't apologize; he said, this is for the good of the world. in fact, not only did he allow the murder, he picked her to have the baby in the first place, when he could've picked anyone. and yes, she was willing, she agreed to it; but she also had absolutely no clue what she was signing up for. how MUCH she would love that little baby, and how much she would sacrifice. telling her that the blessing that would come would be indescribably greater than the pain she was feeling when he died--i'm pretty sure that didn't make her feel a whole lot better.

"Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found grace (free, spontaneous, absolute FAVOR and loving-kindness) with God." Luke 1:30

so the favor of God can sometimes mean that you'll lose what you love more than your own life? and that he won't apologize as your whole world is torn apart??

and that if you can only make it through; if you can possibly trust in the middle of excruciating pain; if you can somehow hold out as everything goes upside-down and wonky; you could see the glory of God manifest in ways beyond imagination? and maybe, just maybe...ways GREATER than would've ever been possible, if you hadn't been willing to have your soul pierced...

mary's destiny, from the beginning of time, should she be willing...was to have her heart broken.

not from the beginning of time, but from the time of adam's bad choice.

but--but but but--because she said yes; because she said "i'm in;" because she said "let it be done to me according to what you have said"...

the strongest and most evil power that ever existed was destroyed. and the kingdom of God came to earth. and the almighty God once again turned and caused his face to shine on the people he created in his image, his holiness now fully accessible, not blocked by any wall or veil. and he then poured out the richness of his nature and his character and his power and authority in exceeding abundance into these peoples' lives, restoring them to what he had originally created them to be.

and you better believe that her Abba Father restored life and peace to her beautiful little heart, and brought more blessing and joy in the end than she could possibly contain, so much so that--believe it or not--it was all worth it.

i know. he is showing me, every day.

every day as my joy comes back a little bit more, and the world takes on newer, brighter colors than ever before, and people look in wonder at what God's strength has brought me through...

every day as i get one more opportunity to bring light where there was only shadow, and love where there was deep, deep pain, and beauty where the enemy thought he reigned...

i know that it's true.

"...blessed (happy, to be envied) is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her from the Lord." Lk 1:45

...it's only the beginninggg!!