good morning world

it was morning when i started this post. life happened, as it has a way of doing. one 7-hour meeting and some time in the store later...here i am...

the macy's store manager at my main store in atlanta came by yesterday to tell me that we are now #1 in the U.S. for sales of Sexual.

the wealth of the heathen is laid up for the righteous. ;)

it's funny, immediately after hearing that, i and my team had 2 incredibly bad days of sales. i beat myself up about it for approximately two minutes, at which point i was once again reminded that my identity is not founded in whether i kick booty or not--in anything.

my Abba actually chatted to me for a while about it on the drive home. he talked about how i have a lot of talent, which he's given me, and most things i've done have come easily to me. and how the things he really wants to use me for, many of them will be things that are impossible for me to accomplish, with my talent or mental capabilities.

every single thing that i've undertaken in the last 6 months has been a massive challenge for me; i believe that means i'm on the right track. ? ! (@#8$(7

=]

it's when i'm at the end of myself that i am the most free; when i comprehend that all i can do is fully rely on Abba, i feel a huge weight released off of me.

and on the flip side--the incredible part of this season--the moments and hours and days that i let go and just walk in his favor.....those are breathtaking. he has blessed me in impossible moments with obnoxious amounts of good vibe, and allowed everyone around me to feed off of it. i want to tell stories, but they won't mean much at this juncture, to most.

Abba was explaining to me how, for what he has planned--if i were able to do it in my own strength, it's too big for me to handle, and my ego would destroy me. i have to need him, or i am done.

i'm okay with that.

enthralling...humbling...slightly embarassing. i don't have a concrete idea of what i'm talking about, and it basically sounds like i'm blowing my own horn. just "ponder these things in your heart." we'll get it some day. x